The last time you had sex was, um, last month?

At least, you think that’s when it was. You can’t really remember. That’s sign number one, and it’s usually coupled with consistent turn-downs—like that time you pretended to be asleep (or bluntly rolled away) as he tried to initiate foreplay.

Those moments wreak havoc on his confidence, and Megan Bearce, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Super Commuter Couples: Staying Together When a Job Keeps You Apart, says men need to feel like their partner is turned on by them. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean extra nookie—they also feel it, she notes, by how their partner talks to them.

The Fix:

Remind him of all the reasons he’s sexy in a way that you did when you first started dating. Make it a point to have sex once a week, even if it’s the standard go-to position that both gets you off easily (or one of these lazy-girl moves), and then make an effort to follow-up.

Send him a text while you’re at work the next day, recapping what you liked (“When you picked me up and tossed me onto the bed, that was hot—you felt so strong.”), or come up with a code word you can say around the kids when you’re in the mood.

Bearce says simple games like these will re-build your physical and emotional connection both in and out of the bedroom.

Don’t push back new boat arrivals: US Maritime police officers near a boat which carried migrants in Langkawi May 12. Hundreds of migrants abandoned at sea by smugglers in Southeast Asia have reached land and relative safety in the recent days.

The United States has urged the governments of Indonesia, Malaysia, and Thailand to refrain from pushing back arrivals of new boat carrying Bangladeshi migrants and Rohingya at sea. “We urge the countries of the region to work together quickly, first and foremost, to save the lives of migrants now at sea who are in need of an immediate rescue effort,” said US State Department spokesperson Jeff Rathke.

This is an emergency that US believes needs to be addressed with appropriate speed and resolve through a regionally coordinated effort to save the lives of the thousands of vulnerable migrants and asylum seekers, he said. At the daily briefing in Washington yesterday, the director of the US State Department’s press office expressed concerned over the urgent situation faced by thousands of Rohingya and Bangladeshi migrants at sea in Southeast Asia.

“The (US) secretary called his Thai counterpart last night to discuss the situation of migrants in the Andaman Sea and to discuss the possibility of Thailand providing temporary shelter for them,” the spokesman said. US ambassadors in the region are intensely engaged with governments to encourage a rapid humanitarian response, he said.

The United States note that nearly 3,000 people have landed this week in Indonesia and Malaysia, where they are receiving assistance, the spokesman mentioned. “We appreciate the steps taken by the governments of Indonesia, Malaysia, and Thailand to assist these migrants, and urge continued coordination with the UN High Commissioner for Refugees and the International Organization for Migration,” he said.

The United States is now discussing ways that it can continue to support the regionally led efforts in this crisis. “We plan to send a senior delegation to the regional conference hosted by Thailand in Bangkok on May 29th,” Rathke said.